my first trial

and first Not Guilty.

I am so glad my first trial is out of the way. I had my first client that insisted on a trial and did not cave minutes before the trial was supposed to start and plea out. Not that I think less of people who take a deal. It is waaaay less stressful to take a deal than have a full blown trial. And, let's face it, more often than not the prosecution can prove that some crime happened. (Ever really looked through your state's penal code? More things than you think are defined as criminal behavior by the state legislature. Not to mention that the presumption of innocence is all but dead.) And when the prosecution offers to continue the case and then dismiss it if you haven't committed any other crimes during a specified period of time, it places all control into your hands. Don't commit a crime; don't get convicted with the present charge. Not a bad thing to consider.

Anyway, this client was willing to take the chance of conviction for a chance to walk out of the courthouse "a winner" (his words). I was happy to oblige. After a little over an hour, and the judge sustaining all the prosecution's objections, I was shocked to hear the words "not guilty." And so was the prosecutor.

Not a bad way to start the week.

the many faces of humanity

There are days when I am reminded of how much I love my clients. Today is one of those days. This morning I kept a man out of jail and as we were leaving the courtroom, he was grateful and sad that our contact was coming to an end. He promised to bring coffee for the legal assistants to say thank you. He is my first client to actually dress for court in a suit and tie (with these crazy woven, pointy toed, and tasseled loafers). Then, this afternoon, I spent 20 minutes discussing a DWI case with a man who was freaking out that the maximum sentence he could receive included jail time. When I told him I had never seen anyone go to jail for a first offense DWI, you would've thought that I had given him a million dollars (even after telling him that there was a possibility of jail). It is easy to forget that contact with the criminal justice system is terrifying for many people. Their gratitiude for helping them through unknown territory is incredibly rewarding. Just another day when I'm reminded that I love my job.

On a totally unrelated note, is anyone else completely repulsed by this new Wii game where people live lives through avatars while sitting on their couch? I know there are things like Second Life out there, but the commercials of women lounging on the couch living their life through a Nintendo is freaking me out a little. I mean, pretending to fish for hours? Dude.

"fair" is a four-letter word

My first trial turned into my first plea. Not too shocking as the prosecutor promised to attempt to impose the suspended sentence my client had from almost 2 years ago.

But seriously, there was no crime committed, and I haven't just drank the kool-aid. If not for my client's record (which is really not that bad), the prosecutor said he would have just dismissed the charges. If not for the record, the officer on the scene probably would not have manufactured this charge in the first place. If only the prohibition on using propensity arguments and unfair prejudice applied outside the courtroom!

It's funny that the only question people tend to ask public defenders is how we defend "criminals" and still sleep at night. Just once I would like to be asked how we deal with innocent people being convicted. That seems to be the more substantial issue.

too many firsts

I really do love being a lawyer. I love helping people. I love challenging myself. I love the human dynamics that blossom in front of me. I do not love, however, the steep learning curve I'm currently climbing (or perhaps falling down). My first client turned into the first client I couldn't get in touch with till the last minute which turned into my first client with suspended jail time and suspended fines just waiting to be imposed which turned into my first client that didn't actually do what he is charged with which has now turned into my very first trial. Tomorrow morning. It makes me want to crawl under my desk and pretend the whole world doesn't exist.

It also doesn't help that I have the best mentor for my first year. I mean, he's great. Been here longer than just about everyone--pushing 2 decades as a PD. Which is great because he knows everything, but it also sucks because he knows everything. This afternoon when I showed him my directs and crosses for tomorrow, he looked at me and said things like "just have fun with it" and "just talk normally." And I'm not even going to tell you about his facial expressions as he read them. First, under no deranged perspective could I have fun tomorrow. If I make it through without going into shock, I'll consider it a success. Second, I was just talking normally!! Am I that displaced from real life? I thought I was still a normal person, but maybe, while I wasn't paying attention, I turned into one of "those" lawyers. Dear God, please let it not be so.

So, really. It's hugely unfair for me to be compared with one of the state's best PDs for my first trial. Seriously. Unfair.

progress

Sooo . . . I passed the bar!! Despite my previous post, I suppose this is what makes me a real lawyer. (Although, I may say this again after I get sworn in.) With this behind me, I have a confession to make. I was shitting bricks because I was so scared I wasn't going to pass. I know; I know. EVERYONE shits bricks. EVERYONE is scared they won't pass. Unlike me, however, most people probably studied con law, corps, agency/partnership, family law, and conflicts of laws. I hate that I put myself through such stress because I didn't study. I am an idiot!! But, at least it's over, and I got my happy ending.

Had my first in-office client interview today--juvenile case involving spray paint. Client completely took responsibility for his actions. Then I spoke with the prosecutor--my first time discussing a deal with a prosecutor--who decided my solution, which included dropping the charges, worked for him. Not a bad way to start things. Totally a dream world, but I'm okay with that.

my first case

That's right. I'm a real lawyer now. I just got my first case this morning with my very first trial date.

Right on.

the good and the less good

So, I love my new job. I know, I know. It's really early--I only started a week and a half ago--but all signs point to my future happiness. I have an unbelievable amount of leeway to practice law the way I want, yet I will get any support I ask for. It's a little overwhelming getting into the swing of things, but I have no complaints yet which is more than I expected. My new office is awesome. I have a nice view of the woods and there is great afternoon sun. I have started picking out which art work I will display to keep the comfortable, laid-back feel. Things are good in this area.

On the less good side of my life, I am effing lonely, and it sucks. I don't really know anyone here, and I'm so exhausted by the time I get home every night that there is no energy for me to explore other parts of my life like being social. My pup is lucky if I have enough energy to take her out to play 2xs in the day. I know it will get better, but the growing pains are, you know, kinda painful. It doesn't help that my law school friends either have too much going on to spend time on the phone or aren't returning my phone calls. Sigh. This too shall pass, but can't it pass soon?