a little uncertainty goes a long way

A little certainty, however, goes go a long way as well. Thirteen days and counting down until the bar exam. For most of the beginning of the summer, I was less than optimally diligent about studying. It felt like I had forever. With no urgency, I slipped into a peaceful nonchalance about the whole thing. Bar exam? Sure. It's coming. But like the grasshopper I spent many of my hours doing other things. Now, as opposed to the grasshopper that never "woke up," I have been jolted into the harsh realization that I may not have spent my time so wisely in June. No use crying over split milk though, right? Well, I was crying. (Figuratively, of course. The real tears won't come unless I don't pass the bar.) This was courtsey of the 30% score I received on a practice test about Evidence. I'm going to be a public defender, for crying out loud; this stuff is incredibly important to my career. Not to mention that I just finished taking Evidence in my last semester. I should know the issues and rules.

It was then my bar review course to the rescue. I specifically would not sign up for BarBri. They wanted how much? Yeah, that's right. Over $3k. For some stupid taped lectures. Most of which are a couple years old. If I were doing a more profitable state--say like NY--BarBri might have better materials. In my small state, however, this would not be the case. So, I shopped around, eventually settling on The Study Group. I have found this program to be much better than the BarBri materials I have come in contact with. My lectures are twice as long for about every subject, and I have more multiple choice and essay questions and published past bar exams than I've seen anyone else with. So, overall it was a good decision. The $1600 price tag is still steep, but a penny saved in a penny earned. (Yes, Study Group. You may send my advertising fee whenever you wish.)

Anyway, another "perk" to this program is the weekly informational and inspirational emails I get. Sometimes, they even include jokes. (You know. The one about the lawyer who dies at age 36. When he gets to the pearly gates, he asks St. Peter why he was taken so young. To which St. Peter replies, "But according to your billables, you should be well over 72 by now.") Today's email was key is helping me get past some of the anxiety that has been creeping in since Monday. Apparently, they have had people start the program with 2 weeks remaining and still pass the bar.

Now, I know not everyone can do that. But all I needed was the inkling of a hope. I haven't gone back to my grasshopper ways, but I definitely have stopped beating myself up. What good would that do?