dear judges,

I know that you don't like it when I file motions to reconsider. So, I have a suggestion to help you do away with these pesky documents:

STOP VIOLATING MY CLIENT'S CONSTITUTIONAL RIGHTS

I know it's hard to believe, but it truly is that easy. If you would refrain from changing my clients' sentences at review hearings when no new charges or probation violations are filed, I promise to stop filing motions requesting you that you fix your *large and glaring* mistakes.

Because we all know that you are just going to deny my motions, causing me to habe your asses. This is work I don't want to have to make time for. I will, however, because you piss me off. Plus, I love it when another judge makes you do what I want (which, consequently, was the right thing to do anyway!!). And yes, that look I give you after is one of "I told you so."

Which sometimes makes all the extra work worth it.